Recently, this column covered the recruitment industry’s pledge to improve candidate communication including with those who don’t get the job. I receive thousands of emails on a huge array of issues but the two top topics are age prejudices and not hearing back from a recruiter.

The silent treatment can be incredible wounding but, ironically, it is not personal – it just feels that way.

Toby Marshall, managing director of executive search firm Abacus, explains how the recruitment process works in his new book – it’s two books really.

One half, “Get a Better Job”, us aimed at job seekers and provides tips about every which way you can find a job. On the flip side is “Get Great People” which is aimed at employers. It is a straightforward illuminating read.

Toby agrees that the silent treatment can be “thoroughly demotivating and disheartening”. He reckons most people keep it a secret because they feel ashamed by the experience. “… it happens to everyone. It’s even happened to me,” he told me.

He recalled having addressed a ballroom full of recruiters and asking everyone who had experienced the silent treatment to raise their hand. Hands went up all over the room so it even happens to recruiters.

Toby said that recruitment had a strong sales focus and that sales people did not like delivering bad news so they were reluctant to call candidates who were unsuccessful. They were also chasing their next fee and so their focus was off the job that has been filled and on the next job.

As I said before, the talk among recruitment chief executive officers is “candidate care”. Good consultants already do this so ask friends for recommendations.